3 Yard Sale Questions I Hate to be Asked

February 7, 2018 by Florence 35 Comments

Having attended recent yard sales, I’m reminded anew about 3 Yard Sale Questions I Hate to be Asked. I was on on the hot seat again this weekend. Am I the lone stranger when it comes to questions like these?

The 3 Questions I Hate to be Asked

These are in order of not so annoying to the most cringe-worthy, followed by what I’d like to say in return.

Question 1

So I’m walking up to a yard sale and before I’ve even landed in the goodies, the owner says coolly, “may I help you?” I was somewhat taken aback. I must be in a department store!

Well, you’re having a yard sale, aren’t you? I came to look at your offerings, lady, is what I want to say.

And a variation of that…”Are you looking for anything in particular?” Now I know I’ve just been transported to a department store. Then her kid comes up and says exactly the same thing.

To my mind, it’s like being hounded by the sales lady as soon as you walk in a store. In those cases I just want to leave ASAP.

Yes I’m looking for a box of sterling silver flatware that you don’t realize is sterling, lady.

But I don’t say that.

Question 2

NOW the hot seat is getting a little warmer. I really hate these next 2 questions because lying makes me squirm. I try not to if I can possibly avoid it.

I’m standing at the yard sale checkout holding yarn, and the person says,

Oh do you knit?

Um, I knit…yes.

If you count 2 dishcloths, and 3 scarves I made 4 years ago.

If you count the knitting tote gathering 4 years of dust on the floor.

But I wouldn’t be able to tell you how to knit and purl now if my life depended on it.

Thank goodness she didn’t ask me when I knitted.

Here’s the next one equally as bad. I’m standing there holding sewing trims.

Oh, do you sew?

Egad…

Yes I sew.

I can turn on the sewing machine.

But as for threading it… I still have to read the directions.

I’ve made a few things…like this Square Dance outfit a few years ago.

It’s cute right? Someone from France emailed me today to tell me how adorable it is.

But it was the outfit from you know where.

You see, I checked out when Mama tried her level best to teach an uninterested 12-year-old how to sew.

She made me take 2 “How to Sew” classes at Singer, but I’d rather have been pulling weeds than learning to sew.

So I couldn’t remember how when I decided to make this outfit.

I found the pattern in a thrift store, but it wasn’t my size. Can you picture me modifying a pattern to fit when I hadn’t even sewed before? It was a joke.

I lost count of the number of times I ripped it out.

Making the ruffled trim was a nightmare. The directions called for it to be twice the length of the skirt, or something like that. So I mathematically calculated what double would be. Let’s just say it didn’t turn out quite right.

I laid the trim out, and it extended from the room I was working in, down the hall to the third bedroom and in a circle within the room. I thought it was a bit long, but told myself it would work out. It didn’t.

Yes I sew.

Question 3

And as for the last, most dreaded, cringe-worthy question, I’m standing there holding a pair of egg cups, and the lady glibly asked,

What.are.you.going.to.do.with.it?

I hate this question, but the answer rolled off my tongue so smoothly, I was proud of myself.

I have an egg cup collection.

And I do.

I haven’t added to it in over 20 years.

At one time, I imagined myself a gracious hostess serving meals on pretty tablecloths with cloth napkins, and boiled eggs in cute mismatched egg cups, but that went out the window very quickly.

Because now I’m a professional picker, and you can’t even see the tablecloth, or the table for that matter.

I can’t tell her the real truth.

I’m going to sell it lady! I’m going to put it in my Etsy shop.

People are often emotional about their stuff. They don’t like to think of you selling off Great Aunt Jane’s china. They want to imagine you cherishing it like they do.

There’s no good answer, but if you’re about to give a yard sale, give your customer a break, and please don’t ask!

Do you have these too?

Yard and Estate Sale Types

March 30, 2016 by Florence 2 Comments

Yard and Estate Sale Types of people you usually see??? These 10 ~~eccentric~~ personalities are easily recognizable to one who is observant:

Harry and Hilly Haggler~These are the ones that are forever asking you “what is your best price?” when you’ve stayed up half the night pricing everything at that magic number already.

Barrie Basket~She’s the one “innocently” browsing with a gigantic tote bag or basket over her arm, which effectively blocks other shoppers from not only passing her, but getting in her space while she’s looking.

Ian & Ima-Lil Intense~These are the ones who make a beeline for their main interest in the house, and it doesn’t matter who’s in their way. They’ll even go so far as to ask you to get OUT of their way if you happen to be obstructing their view.

Ollie Obnoxious~Ollie is everyone’s favorite person at estate sales. He’s never heard of “no bargaining on the first day.” He will harass you into the ground with “oh come on, come on” hoping you will give in and let him have that nice boat or car he has his eye on.

Dave Dayahead~Dave is the one who has done a little research, found your phone number on the internet, and either calls non-stop for hours or shows up at your doorstep because he “can’t come the next day.”

Edgar Eager~Edgar and his cousin Nate are the early birds that come 2 hours ahead of time hoping to get in first.

Nate Knocker~Nate knocks on your door 2 hours early if he thinks that will help him get in earlier.

Greta Grabber~Greta just basically grabs everything in sight to keep anyone else from getting it.

Wally Watt~Wally is the one who comes and isn’t totally satisfied with watt you’ve got laid out. He wants to know watt else you have, like “any old watches, old cameras, any old guns?”

Sally Cell~Sally is the one who comes to a dead stop while she checks her cell phone, or she’s checking to see how many of what she’s looking at are on ebay already.

Do we recognize ourselves here??? *Gulp* (Ahem…just call me Hilly.) Let’s hope not! What or who else have I missed??

Stupid Yard Sale Mistakes

March 30, 2016 by Florence 2 Comments

Stupid yard sale mistakes….arggh…don’t you hate when you have to relearn stuff you thought you already knew?? Every picker knows better than to make these dumb moves… Hopefully I’ve learned my lesson!

I was at a yard sale on Friday, and it was one of those days when there weren’t a lot of sales to begin with and very important to be there early. One of the regular pickers was just loading her truck with interesting goodies when I arrived. We got a late start due to “when you snooze, you lose.” Pure and simple, I just couldn’t get out of bed.

After arrival, I saw a vintage Madame Alexander doll that just happened to be sitting on top of a shoe box full of old doll clothes. You would THINK that someone with my experience would immediately jump on her. In fact, I was surprised she was still there. But I thought I would browse a little before swooping in. REALLY STUPID MISTAKE!

I saw a guy with a ponytail come strolling up, and I thought…”oh, he’s a guy, he won’t be interested in a doll.” MISTAKE! I was a little alarmed when I saw him lingering by the dolls, but he wasn’t holding them yet. So I strolled up, and casually examined the doll with the intention of claiming her myself. It’s the old, “if-somebody-else-wants-it-then-I-know-I-want-it”syndrome. He said in the softest voice, “Ah, I’m looking at her…I’m getting her.” I’m looking at him in controlled disbelief, and I wanted to whine, “You’re NOT holding her…I SAW HER FIRST…SHE’S MINE!” WRONG AGAIN!

So, what do I stume about….stume? I just coined a new word (stew & fume)…ALL weekend, but the STUPID YARD SALE MISTAKES?

Moral of the story: